Dear Lexie---maybe you are touching on a very painful area for me---that the relationship MUST be restored. I get the part that carrying the pain hurts me and I have been pretty good at letting it be history and over with. Detachment has been my greatest tool.
My problem is with a mother-son relationship. My son is in early recovery and I know he has miles and miles to go!! It is hard for a mother who has suffered abuse to give up on the hope that down the road there might be genuine remorse for past actions. It just seems that that would be a necessary precursor to restoration of trust. You know, "bit once, twice shy".
Now, I know that it would be pure folly to even mention past transgressions. That is no-no number one! I would rather spit straight into the face of an Alabama State Trooper---it would be safer. Actually, I have recently gone back to no contact because of a "dry drunk/King Baby" episode on the phone. (see recent thread).
It is just that way, way down the road, and a lot more of recovery---I think a heart-felt and sincere apology would go a long way toward the restoration of trust.
I know that there is no law of the universe that says that the relationship trust HAS to be restored. It is just a desire of my (mother's) heart. Like in the Beetle's song: "The mother and Child reunion is just a moment away" ??
thanks.
dandylion