I planned the trip as a Birthday present. I wanted to do something for him to show my love and appreciation. One of his best qualities is being responsible when it comes to financial responsibilities. He always took care of us finacially. He did provide for us. He payed my mortgage from the day he moved in till the day he moved out. He bought groceries and other household stuff. He did take me places and do nice things for me and my girls. He never begrudged me for that.
No man has ever helped me in that way before. If anything I am reeling a bit because I am now responsible for everything. It is a struggle but, Im making it work. I appreciated his hard work for taking care of us. I wanted to show my appreciation. It was something very special I could give to him.
I also know that, as far as his recovery goes, he was probably advised not to go. He would have possibly been setting himself up for a situation that might have set himself back. It was just not possible for us to go and expect it to be the trip we had invisioned.
For now, Im not gonna dwell on that trip. It isnt worth it. I am doing something else with my girls during that time.