Today he was clean and a little while ago we had a talk. He was praising himself for not using except like he said, and he ignores the part where he used on Saturday morning, and later admits he used the last little bit this morning.
i'm not sure you get what CLEAN means....he used all weekend, including yesterday morning. for all you know, he could be using all the time, not JUST on the weekends. coke takes a minimum of three days to clear the system, AFTER the last use. thus it's no surprise that the cravings kick into high gear about day 3 or so. or why come Friday night he's off to the races again. and then brings some home - sure as hell ain't leaving it behind, and to help take the edge off. there's that constant mental battle - do it all now? save some for later? now? later? and if there is some left it talks to you, calls you....
I know you are trying to compartmentalize this as just a weekend thing....but using is using no matter what day of the week it is.
its truly disturbing how he uses you for sex. demands it. and threatens to go get a hooker or somebody else if you don't give in. sorry, but that is just sick. and wrong. he does not VALUE you as a whole person and partner....only as a part of his sick twisted drug induced fantasies.
you need some help to navigate this. because it's just too much and too overwhelming on your own. you don't yet understand the full gravity of the situation. NO ONE deserves to live like this. to be treated like this. to tolerate this.