I can relate a lot to you Gotta change (and we are about the same age I would think!)
I was an everyday drinker, not heavy but everyday, without fail. but if I had a partner or 2 to tag along I could go for however long they were willing to keep up for.
So I found here and decided to quitt. At first she couldnt understand, she seen a few days where I would drink whatever we have and Mix (Last beer, mix drink, crack a bottle of wine for a glass) so she thought maybe there was something to this, but didt think I was that bad.
Then the Withdrawls........IT was even harder because I was sweating and soaking the sheets, anxiety attacks that scared me and freaked her out a bit. SHe could see it was an issue, but wondered if THIS was any better as I was very controlled and functional as a drinker.
But as I got better, as I cleared up my thoughts, as she seen how I wanted this for US, and OUR FAMILY she is all on board now.
I had a six week stint, then relapsed and back not for just over a week...and Ill tell you the withdrawls arent as bad, and the desire to kill this animal is even stronger.
Good Luck, and people, nervous and doubtful people like to hear the good. Dont discuss the bad with her, why you felt defeated, what is wrong with it, that is not gonna put her at ease.
Discuss the great things coming, the better you will feel, the money you can save not dumping 10 - 20 bucks a day (at least some times) on booze. How this will get you to a better place to support her and your marriage. That should help get her to understand or at least join the team