So this weekend will be a month that I am out of the chaos of witnessing addiction and the hold it has on the addict and those that love them.
I am doing really good, guess those past relapses and working on my own recovery has taught me well.
This time I have detached not only physically but emotionally as well. I can’t be emotionally vested in worry about him or sitting in hope that he jumps on the recovery wagon and all will be well. That would not be realistic of me.
I’ve had no contact but have heard from a few people that he’s still using, smashed him truck up, got it fixed then smashed it again. Has a number of traffic violations and a DUI charge to face. He must be jonesing for pills as my old neighbor said he was on the phone all day yesterday yelling at people (she can’t help but hear him, he’s so loud and his windows were open) that he needed to see a DR right away. At one point she heard him say, no I’m not a drug addict and no I didn’t already call you 4 times today. She said for hours he was trying to make Dr Appointments and with each rejection he got angry and loud.
She knew I didn’t want to know anything about him but she wanted to let me know what kind of a car he is now driving because she knows I have the restraining order and the rest of that conversation was about what she had over head for hours yesterday.
The ill- logic of this disease is baffling – here is someone who lost his job, lost his relationship, smashed up his truck 2 times in less then a month, has Dr’s and pharmacy’s red flagging him, he’s going to possible lose his driving privileges………..yet he’s like the energizer bunny….just keeps on going and going and going.
I am truly grateful that I opened my mind to hearing, learning and accepting the harsh truths regarding addiction and relationships. I think that life lesson has been mastered and I am happy to say I have graduated!!! Life is looking positive for me these days and I plan on keeping it that way.