Thanks for all the posts guys. Unfortunately, I messed up again. But I've been sober since about 8pm last night. I just feel exhausted. I'm done with all of this. I really need to be. If I cave again I think I'm going to start looking at getting outside help. It doesn't help that I've been on vacation, but I go home today so I'm really going to have to make an effort. On the upside, at least there's no alcohol at my house.