I too worry about how all of this is affecting my two daughters. My oldest daughter is almost 14. She is most definitely in "teenager mode"! She has seen some pretty bad stuff over the years in my relationships. I did take her to a therapist after she lived through several bad situations with my youngest's "donor." That was when she was 10.
My youngest is 3. She has been displaying several signs of seperation anxiety. She really thought of my AB as her "dad." She still doesn't understand why he left one day and has not returned. He did come by to get all his belongings including the dog one morning while she was in daycare. She was really upset then. Just the other night she said "Mom, I really miss "J", when will he ever come back and bring the dog to see us again? Is he playing a trick on us?" It was so heartbreaking.
Its really my 14yr old that Im so afraid will end up suffering the most. She loved this man when he first came into our lives. They had a close bond. She very much keeps things bottled up. I have tried to talk with her and she just says she doesnt really think about it. That she is otherwise occupied with stuff. She has seen me at my worst and saw him in his worst state too. She was devestated that he only said "hi" to her when he came and moved out. He didnt even tell her goodbye. That was also quite hard for me to see.
These girls are my hope right now and its killing me see them go through this. Trying to keep myself together and also trying to let them know its gonna be ok. Most of all I wanna break this cycle so that they do t have to suffer the same as I have.