Originally Posted by catgonewild1

I wanted to start a subject that is huge with me and always has been:: anonymity and shame. Meaning, in this place I live now, people have only seen me drink once in three years, and that was at a party last weekend. No one else, ever. Never at any other party, drinking occasion, etc. In fact, for a long time I've thought that my daughter's friends' moms didn't like me much because most of them drink and I don't.

Now, I NEVER ever tell anyone why I don't drink. Never have. It's always "I take medication" (which is true, but it never stopped me from drinking on it in the past.) Or "I get headaches." But never "I'm in recovery."

What made me think about this was reading another thread where a mom had at one point posted pictures. I thought to myself: "Pictures??? Names?? I even shuddered to put my real city." I would DIE literally if people knew I even had 3 1/2 years of sobriety before I even relapsed!! But WHY? That's what I'm trying to figure out about myself. I shame myself for drinking. I shame myself and hide my recovery. Either way it's just shame and guilt.

My family and husband and two close friends are the only non-AA people who know why I don't drink. I just never would let anyone else in. Is the stigma of this disease so great that even if you have long-term recovery you have to hide it?

Or is it just me? Keep in mind I am 50 plus years old and raised in a very traditional ethnic family where guilt and shame were the way of life. But I'd love to hear others' views on how open you are sharing that you're in recovery.