I tread carefully here as my opinion regarding certain things have been getting me into trouble lately. In my opinion and experience, nicotine patches, gum, etc, are BS. For the most part.
I tried quitting using nicotine gum a bunch of times (I don't think patches were yet invented), and failed miserably. When I was ready to quit, I quit.
I smoked 2 1/2 to 3 packs a day for almost 20 years, so I'm certain I suffered the full withdrawl... and it wasn't a big deal. Physically, I remember having a sore throat and cough (nothing much worse than a cold), and mentally I felt like I was high for about a week. Actually enjoyed the experience for most of the time. Was light headed and confused, but I functioned fine. Was in college at the time, and it didn't affect me in any negative way.
I don't think patches and gum help with the habit part, at least they didn't for me. They didn't stop or lessen my desire at all. From what I've seen with people around me I get the same. Some use patches and quit. Some just stop and quit. Both have similar experiences and neither group seems more successful than the other. If anything I'm pretty sure I know more who were succesful going cold turkey, then not.
Something that actually did help a lot with the urges was sucking and chewing on cinnamon sticks - which I did almost constantly for about 3 months. Read later that it has the same effect on the tastebuds as smoke and nicotine, and the act of playing around with the stick in my mouth helped with other stuff.
Point of all that, if patches are messing you up you might want to try going without them. I don't believe they will make or break your quitting. Most important thing is really really really wanting to stop.
IMO.
