Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy

I am sorry you have had to deal with your aunt's attack on you.. It sounds really miserable.

My experience is that when I vocalize my boundaries to people who have over-stepped their boundaries with me, it does not go well. People who are inclined to over step boundaries and not own that or apologize aren't apt to be people who will be open to hearing what others boundaries are.I think it is excellent you have set boundaries but you may want to consider whether it is helpful to you in the long run to state those to people like your aunt.

Could you instead just act on those boundaries vs stating them to her? (for ex/ not have her to your home if your boundary is that you won't tolerate how she treats you?).

It is not right that she reacted negatively to you but can you see in hindsight how you might have been able to predict that she would react that way given who she is?

I used to think I was letting people get away with things if I did not call them out or let them know what my boundaries were.... I found that too often, interacting and talking to toxic/boundaryless people just left me more upset than I already was.

I try (not well always) nowadays to have my actions be the way I express my boundaries. My mother for ex is someone who has been overly invasive and negative in my life. Rather than tell her that my boundary is to not tolerate her behavior, I simply limit my interaction with her.

Does that make any sense?