Papillon
Welcome to SR.....as you have seen by the responses above, this is a wonderful forum with supportive people who understand what you're going through.......you are not alone.
I'm glad to hear that you are looking into counseling. Individual counseling and meetings are wonderful tools to keep yourself healthy. Unfortunately, active addicts use some pretty powerful tools to keep us off balance. Fear Obligation Guilt (FOG).....the things he says are employing those tools and manipulating those feelings. It can really mess up our owning thinking by putting us into a FOG. We begin to react based upon those feelings and often make poor decisions as a result.
You've done an incredible job of taking care of yourself and your son thus far. You, your son and his father will be in my prayers.
Keep taking care of you.
gentle hugs
ke