Welcome to SR Vices. Thanks for sharing your story and no apologies are necessary here. This is a great place for support and encouragement in getting sober.
I think you'll feel tons better once you quit. I used to fall into the depths of deep depression when I was drinking. I quit completely just 4+ months ago, and I'm feeling so much better,...tons better. Ironically, the dialogue I had in my head when I quit was that I didn't want any more vices in my life. Also ironically, today I realized that I still had a stash of 6 grams of pot in my freezer, it's been there for 6 months or so. I flushed it all down the toilet, all 6 grams. No more vices.
