Welcome to SR! I'm glad you've found us. You'll find lots of support and encouragement here. I agree with Dee about getting some medical help...perhaps the fear of not knowing what will happen is worse than the appointment itself? I know when I've been scared to go to the doctor, once I'm there I'm always relieved to both share my concerns and have help from a professional who has seen it all before. The scariest part can be picking up the phone to make the call, but I hope you will.