"Doing AA" is not the same thing as following a program of recovery. Neither is going to a lot of meetings a program of recovery. You can't "do" this program without someone taking you through the Big Book 12 Steps.
Sobriety requires a commitment to recovery. If AA isn't for you, then try one of the many alternatives. No amount of suggestions, support or advice will get you sober. That's something that comes from within. The misery you describe on the day after is nature's way of telling you...something.