As the adult child of addicted parents, I find this topic somewhat triggering, so I'll be brief.
Your son is suffering as a direct result of having been raised in the unhealthy environment that he was forced to endure throughout his childhood, and that he continues to endure today. Addicts make lousy parents and they should NEVER be left alone with children.
You can choose to allow your husband to continue manipulating you, but your son doesn't get to make that choice. Your husband has shown you again and again that he is COMPLETELY INCAPABLE of caring for a child. I'm sorry that you're going through this, but your son desperately needs someone to put his best interest first. Please consider getting him therapy to begin working through his feelings, he can't handle this on his own, the things he is dealing with will have lifelong developmental consequences without intervention. I am in my 30s and I am still struggling with issues attributed to an alcoholic/addicted family of origin.
You can get through this, but nothing changes if nothing changes. You and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers.
