Whether he’s using or not really doesn’t matter. Is his raging and demands acceptable behavior and something you want yourself and your children to live with? Of course not. Also, the extreme jealousy to the point where he wants you to quit your job (becoming more dependent on him) is also a concern. Can you make some changes moving forward to get yourself in a position where you are not dependent on his income at all?
Being scared to death is no way to live.