I think your doing the right thing trying to get on the same page with his parents. United front would be best to show strength. I think you have done well so far from all that's been shared here. If he is trying to end his drug use then I believe family needs to support recovery attempts (at whatever level all of you feel comfortable with). If it were my husband, I would be pushing for him to see his doctor immediately, to be honest about what is going on, and I would want him to agree to follow the advice of the doctor. Hopefully this would include some counseling / therapy for his emotional issues (like problems with coping, anger, and the drug issues), and possibly outpatient, inpatient treatment. I would want to see some willingness, and then action put behind it. Sending you good thoughts. Stay strong.