Dear people,
I dont have an alcoholic partner but I found no other forum more appropriate to post my problem than this one. I hope that people here can understand my feelings and give me some advice.
My boyfriend and I are together since around 2 years, after being 6 months together I realized that he drinks quite often and quite a lot (in my opinion).
A typical drinking routine during the week would be two big beers (500mL) two times during the week (sometimes on an empty stomach!). Two big glasses of wine on Friday night and 5 or 6 big beers going out on Saturday night. I only see that the alcohol affects him when he drinks 5 or 6, where he would be a bit euphoric and with lower inhibitions. The other times he drinks he is just relaxed and doesnt show any sign of drunkness. He likes beer and wine and says that he only drinks to socialize and because he likes the taste. In his family and friends its normal and they all do this and often drink much more. I come from a non-drinking culture where alcohol is seen as something bad. I dont like that he gets affected by his alcohol use (even if he doesnt get drunk, for sure he gets relaxed and a bit more happy because of this). I feel anxious when he drinks and we had already several fights about the topic. He says he tries not to drink much when Im around and that I only want to change him and if he quits drinking will find something else bad on him to change it. I feel like a co-dependent person, that would obsess about how much he drinks if he is being affected or not by it, checking everybody else drinking to see if that is normal...I know I only have to accept that he likes to drink socially (a bit heavily) and that he enjoys spending time doing this while talking with friends or with me. Or if I cant accept this, then quit. But I cant take a decision, neither can I accept it and be on peace with it or quit the relationship because I think that partially I am overreacting and should deal with this anxiety, insecurities and co-dependent behaviour. I am obsessing about this day and night and cant study or work because this is on my mind all the time
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Thanks for listening
