stucna

I haven't post in a while, but I've been reading posts daily. I was doing fine, each day was better and better. My friends done amazing job, didn't let me to be down and depressed even for a sec and support me in worst moments as well. I have a therapist and I joined alanon. Lots and lots support around me and my strong will to get better worked so far.

And then things crashed badly again! Last sat I was sitting in a park with my friends and I saw my xabf walking happy with his new gf! Seeing that stabbed me in my heart again! I saw them before as... on my bday he came to my pub for a drink with her! would you believe it? no emotional awareness! Ive spend good couple days digesting it. Apparently he just replace me within 2 weeks!!! 2 weeks!!! How come its possible?! 2 bloody weeks after dumping me he got not only rebounce one nightstand but whole relationship!!! Seriously? So I guess that is the reason he stopped talking to me. His friend told me he is doing great and he stopped doing coke... only occasionally on his permission! Again: seriously? Doesnt that mean he is still abusing? He also told me my xabf is in love... with himself mostly and he is an proper ******* and that I deserve way more. He said "learn your lesson! What's your lesson?! Do not date junkies!!!"

As always been suggested: listen to your guts! especially now as my head is a mess and my heart is in peaces. And my guts telling me nothing has changed. So I guess I don't miss too much. And I feel sorry for her.

I'm so so soooo angry! And sad! Also he is not even a tiny bit ashamed of what happen and he doesn't feel guilty at all. Not at all. He has ticked every single box as book example of sociopath. No shame, no guilt, using people, no consciousness and no empathy and lots more...

And again I need to remind myself: he is an addict and that's what addicts do!