I need to vent, otherwise i will explode !

Old 06-10-2013, 10:42 AM
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I need to vent, otherwise i will explode !

I haven't post in a while, but I've been reading posts daily. I was doing fine, each day was better and better. My friends done amazing job, didn't let me to be down and depressed even for a sec and support me in worst moments as well. I have a therapist and I joined alanon. Lots and lots support around me and my strong will to get better worked so far.

And then things crashed badly again! Last sat I was sitting in a park with my friends and I saw my xabf walking happy with his new gf! Seeing that stabbed me in my heart again! I saw them before as... on my bday he came to my pub for a drink with her! would you believe it? no emotional awareness! Ive spend good couple days digesting it. Apparently he just replace me within 2 weeks!!! 2 weeks!!! How come its possible?! 2 bloody weeks after dumping me he got not only rebounce one nightstand but whole relationship!!! Seriously? So I guess that is the reason he stopped talking to me. His friend told me he is doing great and he stopped doing coke... only occasionally on his permission! Again: seriously? Doesnt that mean he is still abusing? He also told me my xabf is in love... with himself mostly and he is an proper ******* and that I deserve way more. He said "learn your lesson! What's your lesson?! Do not date junkies!!!"

As always been suggested: listen to your guts! especially now as my head is a mess and my heart is in peaces. And my guts telling me nothing has changed. So I guess I don't miss too much. And I feel sorry for her.

I'm so so soooo angry! And sad! Also he is not even a tiny bit ashamed of what happen and he doesn't feel guilty at all. Not at all. He has ticked every single box as book example of sociopath. No shame, no guilt, using people, no consciousness and no empathy and lots more...

And again I need to remind myself: he is an addict and that's what addicts do!
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Old 06-10-2013, 04:10 PM
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Ann
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I he's drinking then he's probably using and it's not all it's cut up to be at all.

She has him now, she also has all the problems and baggage that goes with him...and when she's had enough of him he will move on to his next victim. That's how it works with addiction. I watched my son go from one relationship to another in days. It was part of his sickness that he could neither make a relationship work nor could he stand being alone with himself.

You may not see it through the pain right now, but you are better off without him. Active addiction means a healthy relationship is simply not possible.

Stay focused on you, keep going to meetings and working on healing and one day soon new beginnings will bring you happiness and better tomorrows...I promise.

Hugs
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:12 PM
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I know it's hard to see now but Ann is 100% right about every word she typed. It may not make you feel less anger right now. You will get to a point where you finally say to yourself what I do when I think of my ex and a new woman........that basically I will pray for her because she will need it and the entire relationship will be based on lies.

You are better off without him. No one who would show up to your work flaunting a new relationship is worth having in your life. He will do it to her guaranteed. That's pretty low.
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Old 06-10-2013, 06:27 PM
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I'm so so soooo angry! And sad! Also he is not even a tiny bit ashamed of what happen and he doesn't feel guilty at all. Not at all. He has ticked every single box as book example of sociopath. No shame, no guilt, using people, no consciousness and no empathy and lots more...
When I was faced with betrayal in January 2012, I clearly remember two things.

The first thing was in my heart, I was done with my AXGF.

The second was I wasn't angry. Honest to God, I wasn't. Weird, huh? And I guess that's because I didn't see the point of being angry about what she did. She had revealed herself to be something and someone I no longer had any desire to deal with on any level. Yes, I was badly hurt, but I was hurt because I was betrayed in a way that was cruel, sadistic, and without remorse, guilt, and apology.

So, take a step back for a moment. Read how you described him:

Also he is not even a tiny bit ashamed of what happen and he doesn't feel guilty at all. Not at all. He has ticked every single box as book example of sociopath. No shame, no guilt, using people, no consciousness and no empathy and lots more...
Do not allow the likes of him to get under your skin. Yes, he got you. He got you real good. And now you can decide what your ultimate response will be in terms of how you live your life going forward. Free of him. Free of his "sociopathic" behavior. The best revenge is always a life well lived.

So get up off the mat. Brush yourself off. And get going, because it's clear skies and clear sailing from this moment on.

ZoSo
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Old 06-11-2013, 01:27 AM
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...............pathetic is all the same, all the time.

-you may not feel it now, but someday you will realize the favor
the universe has been kind enough to send your way.
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Old 06-11-2013, 07:59 AM
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thank you all for your amazing support!

"The best revenge is always a life well lived" - I was told that literally couple days ago by my friends as well. I truelly believe as well that what goes around comes around.

I feel sorry for his new gf. shes got no clue what shes got. I remember when me and my xabf started dating we had a chat about our pervious relationships and he said he had only one long term relationship which last 2years (at the age of 30) and now i understand why! shoud that be red flat?

Tho I fell lot of compassion for him, I know that I will never ever ever let him back in my life again. And I am aware that I am doing way better without him. I still feel hurted, betrayed is a perfect word here, but Im more happy and free and my life is far from dramas and scenes. Also when I do miss him I always quickly remind myself that I miss idea of him that its in my head and its not real. I guess sat moment pulled my inside trigger... and tho Ive learned lots about addiction and mental issues, he still can suprise me!

Or maybe as simple as it can be as my friends told me "doesnt matter if he takes or not, he is simply an a**hole"
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