Originally Posted by
honeypig 
Plus, I see how incredibly, astoundingly, overwhelmingly often I did this in the past, not just for him but for virtually anyone who crossed my path and needed ANYTHING! Good lord....
I completely agree with this too - this kind of awareness made me look beyond RAH & into other relationships. Again this relates to my ACoA issues, but the most notable problems were with my mother & sister & the roles we had each taken around my father's addiction & then his subsequent death.
For decades I have interpreted my sister's problems as mine to fix/solve, which was wrong for both of us. With both of them I have always been in the driver's seat whether I liked it or not because otherwise no one was driving at all & I simply have the strongest personality.... .. eventually we
all thought of this as my
choice, that I
liked having this kind of control. As a result, over time, everything relating to my family felt like an obligation.
In reality, I would like to be carefree & spontaneous & feed my creative side more so that's what I work on now. I've pulled my energy back from them & their lives & sometimes I may go too far & isolate myself because I'm not yet sure where my boundaries are.