It's ironic, really. I've always been taught to be polite and put other people's needs above my own. And that everything can be solved if you just sit down and reason with people.
Being married to an A taught me that there are people who cannot be reasoned with, and that its not just colorblind people who are incapable of seeing the world the way the rest of us do.
Divorcing an A has taught me that I have the absolute right to stand up for my needs and the needs of my children. I have learned to speak for us, calmly and strongly, even if on the inside, I'm terrified.