Originally Posted by
FreddyBear 
Thanks for all the replies. Now I'm sitting and analyzing why I did this.
- I was very shy and introverted for my whole life. There are pretty bad communication issues going on for me, and I just can't overcome them no matter what and how hard I try.
- Recently I've read that it's very important to receive external validation of your existence from other people. I agree wholeheartedly, but feel terribly alone in the whole world. Whatever I achieve in business, fitness, personal skills - it all doesn't matter, no one cares if I do well or not in anything. So, what's the point in all this if I can't share it with anyone? I have no close friends who I can confide in, nor a girlfriend or family of my own. I've been in this mindset for last month and sometimes wished that I never wake up when I go to bed. The only things I was looking for is eating, sleeping and working out with my trainer a little but.
- Personal life is non existent. Now I realize that I sabotage my own efforts most of the time. Whenever I see a pretty girl, I immediately feel down and withdraw. Online dating sites are my only option, but mostly no one answers my emails. When I see how easy other people have it, I want to off myself.
I know that drinking and embarrassing myself is not a way to live. These accidents stockpile and I lose very little social connections I had due to my behavior. But the problem is my default sober state sucks nearly as much. I'm doing quite well with my online biz this year, everything is pretty much automated and runs almost by itself. But this doesn't make me happy at all. What's the point if I can't share it with anyone? I saved a substantial amount of cash to buy the car I dreamed of since I was a little bot, but just don't buy it and ride my oldie. Again, no real need to do it if no one will validate it.
I'm 31 and not considered young anymore. Life is going nowhere. The world is very cold and lonely place, and I'm stuck between sobriety that is hardly better than drunkenness.
Freddy millions of people feel this way. the things you think you're missing in life, or are bad at or anxious of....if all that stuff was suddenly fixed u'd realize very rapidly it wasn't the answer. being anxious socially doesn't matter, nobody cares, everyone (sober, at least) can feel it in varying degrees. and having a relationship right now would probably bring out even more the pain thats inside of you. theres nothing weird at all about being single. many people in a relationship wish they were single but feel pressured to stay in a relationship. right now u should be single and enjoy it.
u need to work on healing within yourself...then ull be able to give more of yourself and maybe the external things will change if u want them to...maybe not, either way ull have some peace. Just chill out a bit and work on staying sober and try life a clean and productive life where you don't harm others..that's it..u do that, ur a better person in my book then an assho*e social extravert or womanizer.