Oh, Magic.....
You were one of my very first inspirations here at SR and you remain an inspiration to me. There are many methods of recovery - all, I believe, with a common theme. Find yourself, love yourself, believe in yourself. Each of us has the freedom to choose which method is best for us and I know you will do what is best for you.
As I read your post, I looked outside my window and it began to snow. I love the snow but I live in Texas and, believe me, snow is a rareity here. For the rest of my life, everytime it begins to snow, I'll think of you.
I'll miss you, friend.
Wishing you big, fluffy snowflakes - L