It is so hard to let go. It almost seems to be our nature to just hold on as hard as we can.
They are his choices and his consequences. The further you stay away from it, the better for you, and most importantly, the better it is for your children. When I "meddled" is when I lost myself. Involving yourself in his consequences will be seen by the kids. They may resent you for it now, or later.
“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”
― Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go