I have actually done extensive reading/research on addiction and brain chemistry. There are natural alternatives to boost likely deficient neurotransmitter function. I'm going to take a stab at it and guess you're difficulties lie in deficiencies with dopamine or serotonin or some combination of the two. You may want to go to a health food store and talk to someone about 5-HTP, gaba, l-tyrosine etc..or perhaps just some sort of amino acid blend..if you're wishing to avoid pharmaceutical answers...
There is no doubt that there is a physiological component that needs to be addressed here....simply put, the pistons either aren't firing right or the receivers ain't catching. This can also be addressed nutritionally...and physical exercise helps tremendously. Get some sun. Run some miles/kms, watch funny shows...there are many alternatives but first and foremost I believe you need people to talk to...and here you are.