Originally Posted by
TypicalDrunk 
I don't want to take medication for depression either because I know that will just lead me to drink. I don't know, I really don't know what to do at this point in my life.
See if there is a professional counselor you can talk to at an actual clinic. Depression can be treated without drugs in many cases.
Finding your direction in life will come much easier once you can clear your head and move forward.