Baloo - I feel for you. It will get better for you but you are going to have to make some tough choices and then stick with them and live with the pain until it eases up. And it will. I love my ex too. I am gong to have to see her at court today if she even shows up. I haven't seen her or spoken to her in about a month since I had her arrested for stealing and pawning my jewelry. She is held hostage by drugs and is around disgusting people. Her choice. She isn't a child but a 40 year old woman who will probably end up dead from this stuff. I have offered her all kinds of help but she wants no help. Doesn't even think she has a problem and is completely delusional about her life. We are talking no job, no car, no drivers license, fired from jobs for stealing, loss of relationship from stealing, no place to live except scrounging off other addicts and facing legal charges. She is on a whole other planet and nothing can be done until she cries uncle and gets herself help. Odds are that won't happen. Now it is about saving myself, working on myself and going through the goodbye pain so I can move on to the healthy relationship I deserve with a non addicted person. It has made me crazy at times but I am getting much stronger, wiser and healthier. It gets better, way better. No addict was ever scared, threatend or loved into seeking treatment. They just have to decide they are done. That is what one of my friends in recovery told me. I believe her.