Day 58
All I can think is: So close to 60!!
Bf has definitely stopped being such an a$$. I've stopped being such an a$$, too. It is hard to just forget everything that's happened in the past, but I think we are both changing and becoming different people. I know I really need to try to see him as he's acting now and not just as he was in the past.
They say that friends and families start lying when the alcoholic acts unreasonable because they want to placate the alcoholic and not be in trouble for ever-changing standards. I guess there is no way to make the alcoholic happy so the solution is to just make stuff up. But I was an alcoholic, I wasn't F-ing stupid!! I always knew that the things he said to promise me X wouldn't be a problem later were a bunch of nice sounding things to end the argument and make me shut-up. That always made me so ticked off! It made it worse and it 'made' me drink more because I'd be so frustrated by discussions.
There is a lot less tension around the house now. And bf seems to have started doing many of the things that I thought he should on his own... and he seems much happier for it. I know that I have changed and that is part of why there is less tension, but he has changed, too.
Things are going well. The more I reflect on my life as a drunk now that I'm sober the more I want away from that place. I don't want to be that way again. There are things that hurt to remember.