I know I need to demand the respect i want, im just unsure how to do so at this point.
no,,,you ACCEPT that he does NOT respect you and then act accordingly. boundaries. boundaries that say Respect is important to me and I will not engage with anyone who does not show me respect in actions and words. I will not remain in any situation where I am not respected or that I feel threatened or unsafe.
HE won't change. he drank defiantly in your face! time to make your world about you and the kiddo and find the nearest exit.