Originally Posted by
sunnshinegirl 
Thanks Dandylion. He's moping around now doing the poor me routine, everything goes wrong for me and instead of feeling aggravated by it, I feel responsible and then think oh, no what am I doing to him by leaving. That's definitely my problem I know but it tugs at my heart strings. But then I try to ask anything and he says whatever and walks away so he won't even let me in to his life. Crazy making so I'm trying to stay focused.
He's being manipulating because he knows it works. This all feeds into his control over you. You need to think about yourself and focus on what will make you better. Taking a good hard look at yourself and realizing that you are worth more than this and that you are not being treated as you should is a big thing and it's empowering. I realize it's also not easy. I've learned that I can't force others to change but I can definitely change myself or my situation. I think the advice here is great and spot-on. Seeking out therapy and talking to someone about abuse (both physical and mental) helps to better rationalize what is happening and how to deal with it. Take care of yourself sunnshinegirl and don't lose your sunshine
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p.s.- as a man, I have to agree with ClearLight some as well. This guy understands that you aren't going to confront him directly because he's probably bigger, stronger, etc., and that gives him power which helps his control. Also as a man, it really makes me want to take him out behind the woodshed myself...I'm not a big fan of controlling/abusive men. Sorry...I digress...been an emotional day
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