Liz,
There's a site named "out of the fog" for people with personality disorders. In the forums section there is one called "committed to working on it". Partners of those with personality disorders post there.
There's also a site "marriage builders". Works with anyone with marriage problems that they want to work on it together.
Just saying approaching your marriage issues from a positive pro-active position might work better than the negative. Or, convince you nothing will work....one or the other...off the fence you will be.