Hi Soberlicious,
It is so great to hear from you.... Always with the wise words.
Yeah fini-
Apparently I am all talk and no action when it comes to the drinking..... Having a hissy fit and wanting a drink is easier then actually throwing away all the RR I have learned and taking a drink.
I am sure that you are right SL in saying that if I would make a BP that would be that. I am quite overwhelmed with other stuff in my world right now and kept thinking that now is not the time to do it. When I look at it the way you put it... as in its making things MORE difficult running around without one... well yeah... may be true.
Why am I putting off the BP? Its that word...
NEVER. I guess I need to pull my RR book off the top shelf of my closet. I remember it being addressed in there. I think well what if ______ happened? Would I drink then. Of-course it is impossible to go over every scenario in your head and answer no. What I did come up with is that there is one time in the near future where I play the scenario in my head and I cant see myself staying sober: Going Home.
I see myself sitting around on the porch with my mom and brother (both heavy drinkers) and my mom has her wine, brother will be having a beer and cooking out. I do not see myself holding a glass of cranberry juice or popping open a sprite. For as long as I have been drinking this is the one time.... summer family cookouts... that drinking has always been enjoyable.
When I moved away these cookouts became even more "precious" because I only get to participate in them for a few weeks out of the entire year. At 5 O'clock my mom and I have our first glass of wine, brother grabs his beer, and the cookout begins. We do at least 7 or 8 of them every time I am there.
When I play this around in my head and I try to imagine me not drinking, sitting there as they both become "happier", sitting through drunken conversations...... to be totally honest I see myself saying "yeah, I would love a glass of wine" and justifying it with... "this year may be the last time we have cookouts.... all of us together" or "come on Jess, Your only here 2 weeks a year".
The good news is there is this other part of me saying... "since what you are saying is true.. that the family time is precious... even more so now... Do you really want to spend it drunk or hungover?" I don't know.
Life is better sober though.