Argnotthisagain, Lots of hugs to you. I'm older too and when I get the courage to leave, I'll probably be alone. One of the things that's always running through my head is what if I get sick and have no one there for me. Just want to say I'm sending you lots of loving support. I hope you feel better. I do believe if we stay strong (which is so hard for me to do) there's a better life out there and it will all come to pass. When I get scared about leaving, I think about how I'm really alone now with someone and that it's a living nightmare. I don't know if that helps you to think that way? Let us know how you are doing and sending you lots of positive energy and support.