I have struggled and struggled with a few family members that have NPD. I echo the thoughts said here about narcissists: there is no cure and the only thing you can do is to STAY AWAY. My husband and I have tried, tried and tried again to make things work with them, to no avail.
I guess it is part of our own narcissism to think that we will be the ones to meet them half way or in some circumstances, get them to understand.
I offer my sincere condolences to you - NPD is an impossible disorder.