Bexxed and Camino:
I wish we could "like" posts here! Reading what you both just shared, I found myself nodding along. It seemed normal for so long to plan trips, dinners, vacations, and even just time with family around how I could figure out where and when to drink. When I looked at a picture of a lovely resort, or a cruise, or a fine restaurant, the first thing I did was picture myself drinking there, because drinking was "fun and relaxing."
But having my eyes opened to that, I can see how that is a skewed way of thinking. It is the drink devil on my shoulder! That is my "booze brain" - a little demon who whispers in my ear that one more drink won't hurt, everyone is having fun, so what's the big deal? But it is a big deal when I've come so close to death or jail so many times. It truly is a devil, and I need to see him for the ugly truth that he represents.
Have a beautiful day.
thank you. Raven