My sponsor makes suggestions to me based on her experience. It's then up to me to take them or leave them. My sobriety is on me, no one else. That's how I was sponsored and it's how I sponsor.
My sponsor did do 90 in 90. I did not. She benefited from it.....it worked for her. So far, not doing 90 in 90, has not hurt my sobriety. Neither is right or wrong.
I do know some people that sponsor by giving demands. It works for some folks. I don't think it would have worked for me.
As far as where the suggestion came from, I'm not sure it matters. I've gotten plenty of
great advise that not in the book. It's not as if any advice that's not in the book is bad. That's just plain crazy talk.
It took me a long time to not concern myself with what others thought of me. Actually, I'm still working on it. Especially when I first came into AA I worried about everything....what would they think of my HP, of my 'bottom', that I wasn't a daily drinker but a binge drinker, and on and on and on. I can look back now and say that I was using many of those things as an excuse to keep on drinking.
Did some people in AA judge me? Absolutely. I accepted it as fact, we all judge each other to some extent, and moved forward. I wanted to stay sober more than I cared about what people in AA might think of me. With that said, I don't put up with bullies. In general, absolutes **** me off. May be something I need to work on, huh?
Bottom line, we all work just a little bit differently. Process things differently. Respond to things differently. It's all fine.
Something I think is very important, is to be one of those folks who has been around the rooms for a while, to remember what I felt like when I first came into the room. It seems to me people forget. I forget. When that happens, I lack empathy or compassion. Talking with folks that understood how I felt early on, was crucial to my sobriety. I want to give that back to other people. I owe that to them.