Originally Posted by
Weaver 
Went on a walk with my wife tonight. I guess im in somewhat of a bad mood but not really verbally showing it. Anyways my wife tells me im angry and in a bad mood all the time. I feel bad. Its not her fault im "angry" but id be lying if i said i wad actually happy. No pityy party here ....im just sort of blah and i guess i take it out on others. Perhaps its because im new to sobriety and im not used to not being buzzed? Idk i feel guilty for continuing to be a trainwreck even when im sober. Sorry to vent anf sorry for any grammatical errors .....typing from my phone
In the 8th Step of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (Alcoholics Anonymous) it confirms that alcoholics most befuddling issues stem from twisted relationships. Some spend the rest of their entire lives working at re-orienting those relationships--ask me how I know...
It turns out that I was somewhat selfish and self-centered, full of fear and dishonesty, and I held my relationships at arms length for fear of them finding out my greatest fear: Fear. I didn't know this, however, and it was only as I worked through the Steps of AA that I began to understand the phrase, "The Steps are a design for living," to mean spiritual tools for managing my fear-based existence.
When I simply quit drinking, I was still the same person--fear-filled, angry, unsure, and just plain PI$$ed off that I was never going to be able to drink again! Hell NO I'm not angry at YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!! It's because I didn't know anything about relationships, courage, integrity, forgiveness and the like. There's more to not drinking that quitting drinking, and while I may have some success at sobering up a horse thief, he'll still be a horse thief until he's learned some new skills.
For people like me, I needed a substitute for the mental component of this dis-ease called alcoholism because I was restless, irritable, and discontent until I could find that sense of ease and comfort I used to get from that first drink--when everyone would BACK UP ten feet and let me breathe.
And then I'd get hammered once more.
Try actually working the steps of AA like others, and chances are you'll end up getting what they got. Serenity, joy, peace, and worthwhile relationships built on love rather than fear.
peaceness...