Please free yourself.
I know what you're talking about. I only advise you to listen to the other people who are posting to your thread. It seems insensitive not to respond to each of the points you have made, but honestly, this is hard work -reading what other people are saying and evaluating each and every response, but it is a good antidote to your addiction to this guy. I am not in the position to give you the specific help you seem to want; you seem to want a detailed response. I am speaking in generalities, but I can relate to your misery Buried Alive. I am calling you Buried Alive because that seems more apt than your other moniker, Metallic Thorn.
Trust me, I know how hard it is to let go, but you need to detach yourself even further than you can imagine in order to save yourself. You are not a therapist! Please dump this man and get yourself some therapy of your own.
I am Meercat Manor because of the connotations it has. Please take heed of what the people here are telling you. Be gentle with yourself but be strong and resolve never to contact this man again. Best Wishes.