Things sometimes just don't make sense. The addict you speak of was arrested and jailed (felony charges pending?) and he's possibly only a casual drug abuser. (I use the term abuser rather than addict as I do believe there is a difference.)
My son.....an addict....no question about it. He was running and gunning. Stealing and dealing. And doesn't have any felony charges pending nor any felony convictions. (However he has had many interactions with the law and has spent time in jail for things like driving without a driver's license, failure to appear, etc. Even the one DUI he got was eventually dismissed for "good behavior" over a five year period of time.)
Go figure.
Your questions are interesting. And they are questions I asked earlier in my son's addiction. My answers today are very different than they may have been five years ago.
1) How long does it take for the urge to use to go away after you stop using?
As long as it takes.....could be a lifetime.
2) Who is considered the "active user" and "addict in recovery"
This seems obvious to me. One is actively using drugs the other is actively in a program of recovery.
3) Will an active addict tell you when they using?
Broad spectrum answer. No.
4) If an addict in recovery promises to tell you when they have an urge, do they actually tell you?
If it was me, no. I'd talk to my sponsor.
5) what are the chances of relapse ?
They are what they are. I have to catch myself when I begin to think (or obsess) about something that is not within my control. I don't own anyone else's relapse or recovery.......however, I do own mine.
Glad you're here. Glad you're asking questions. Keep digging. But don't just look for the answers you want to hear. Pay close attention to the answers that get your ire up a little.....as those may be closer to the truth. You know the saying....."it hit a raw nerve".
gentle hugs
ke