Dear racumb35, I don't know if anyone has ever said this to you. Love is not enough when in a relationship with an active or even early recovered alcoholic. You are up against the disease--and, the disease does not care a twit about the alcoholic or you. The alcoholic is controlled by the disease--that is why love is not enough.
If love were enough, most everyone, here, on this forum would be elsewhere.
In therapy and alanon you will learn how you became "primed" to become co-dependent with an alcoholic. All this work is for you, hon, not him. He will have to want sobriety for himself and gain it through his own efforts. He knows what to do--they just told him--again.
sincerely, dandylion