The only way I know how to get past all of the frustration, hurt, and pain, is to make yourself the # 1 priority of YOUR life.
Think outside the box for a minute, think back to life before an active alkie was in the picture. Remember, how less complicated life actually was ? No lies, no drama, no unacceptable behavior, no bullsh*t ?
I got so caught up in the alkie's daily dose of crapola, I truly forgot what is was to live normally. I forgot that my home was my haven, I forgot what it was like to have a sober intelligent conversation with a man. I forgot how to laugh, I forgot how to relax.
Seems the harder I tried, (or overlooked/ignored ) the less respect he had for me. He kept pushing that envelope, it was as if in his polluted head, each time I "let it go" I was actually giving him permission to take his unacceptable to the next level, just crazy and I never felt so defeated !
I was living such a lie.
And it was a mess.
All I know for sure, when you have had enough, you will know.
You matter, my friend.
Your life has value and meaning too.
Whenever you are ready, you can choose to embrace you!