How do i get past all this pain??
I've been living with an alcoholic for the past two years. He is now in rehab after a month-long nosedive into drinking. He's tried to quit before, but something always triggered his return to the bottle. He's lied lied lied about many things, and i feel like i'm barely breathing. Of course, i still love him, and i'm sure he's expecting me to forgive him when he gets out. On the phone last night, he already sounded so different, and it just made me angry. He told me I should do something "good" for myself, and i told him to **** off. I was intending to be supportive on the phone, but that didn't happen.
I go to therapy, and i am now looking into al-anon meetings, but it pisses me off that i'm the one who's doing all this work to save our relationship. Jesus, we're not even married! I know, i know, that i've got to do it for myself. I know i'm co-dependent. It's just, sometimes i don't know what the **** happened to my life. How did i get here??