I agree that it's hard and frustrating - please know that you aren't alone in feeling this way. Unfortunately, that's what led me back to square one every time I relapsed. I didn't wait long enough to come out of the fog and get back into life.
As Dee said, we have to let go of the idea that drinking is going to solve anything. It doesn't make us happy or satisfied or fulfilled. It just numbs us and keeps us in that state - we don't change or grow or find other things to enjoy. This too shall pass as they say - and it really will - we promise.