suspended the phone just now. Since he apparently got another phone and isn't using the one on our account (my account). I really hate that I can't keep track of who is calling or who is calling him, but deep down I know it is for the best.
I just looked at pics of him in happier times. He looked so healthy and strong. Where is that man??? I want him to come back. Please come back!! I can't stop crying and obsessing about it. But everyday, every minute that goes by without contact makes me angry and helps me to realize it's actually over. He obviously has to be aware that I cant contact him because I don't know his new number. What a ****.
I hope he is miserable wherever he is. Cuz it would kill me if he was having a blast.
I keep imagining what I would say if he does call...he eventually has to call...he doesn't have many changes of clothing. Although, I am pretty afraid he will come here while I am at work, wish I would have gotten the house key, but I know he can get in the house if he really wanted to. I wish I didn't have to work. But anyway, if he does call, I keep imagining all the horrible things I want to say to him. That he is disgusting, pathetic, a low life, and so many other things. That would not be good though, will it? I just have so much anger...and yet I still love the man. I just want my words to hurt him because I am hurting.