It seems from what you're written that your primary relationship is with alcohol. You chose to drink rather than help your daughter with her home work. You chose to drink rather than host a sleepover for your daughter. Believe me your daughter remembers that these thing are happening. I know this from experience. My father was an alcoholic and he chose alcohol over me many times. I will never forget that. Choosing drink rather than spending time with your daughter cannot help but have a negative effect on her self esteem.