I recall feeling like your wife does. I was dating a guy who was about four years clean through NA. And when we were having conversations about life etc, he would quote NA literature to me. At the time, I didn't know what it was, but clearly he was quoting something and to me it did feel condescending and as if he was copping out from actually talking WITH me and instead was quoting TO me...things that were intended to derail my feelings etc.
I am not saying that was his intent, but I know I felt that way...like he was hiding behind these "wise words".
It as after the relationship ended that I got into NA myself (remembering that he had used the program to get clean) and I recognized some of the phrases etc he'd said to me.
Now I am in a relationship with a man recently sober but not actively working a program and I used phrases and things I've learned in my recovery, but not in the context of arguments and usually with the 'preamble" that this is an idea I learned in recovery that had been useful in opening my perspective.
So far he hasn't balked, but I do know that he is interested in recovery and has seen first hand how I have changed through the process. I share these things and stand behind them because they have saved my life and I have found them to be true.
I don't know that there is anything you can or should do. She's going through her own process and is entitled to feel the way she feels.