When I first got sober my ex was so happy. After several months in recovery (AA) we started to have a lot of friction between us. When I was drinking I was content to let her be in control, but after several months of sobriety I wanted to be on equal grounds with her. She was co-dependent but wasn't getting the help that I was getting and didn't want to give up any of the control. That caused a lot of problems in our relationship. I hope everything works out for you and your wife!