Hello!
I could use some advice and help. I really think that my boyfriend is a high functioning alcoholic. Every time I bring up the fact that he drinks a lot, he either gets angry and or goes, "I know, it's bad, I will stop."
We are on holiday at the moment in his homeland and his drink has just escalated. It is so cheap over here to buy beer, so not only is he buying beer for himself but for his friends. Many times, he's gotten drunk and forgotten the next day the horrible things he has said (calling me a bitch, saying that he would push me under a bus). I spoke to him about it and it has not happened for nearly a year now.
Instead however, I'm beginning to feel neglected in favour of beer. Today, I had a really bad headache and instead of going home, he begged me to drive him to his friends pub (he had had about 3 beers already over the day) for one drink, and we would only be there for 10 minutes. We were there for half an hour (he did only drink one) but I still had a bad headache and was feeling sick at this point. We went home and had some dinner with his mum, and then he invited his friend over for a beer, knowing that I was sick. I got really annoyed with him and told that whenever he is ill, I drop everything to make sure he is alright but he is picking beer over me. I told him to go anyway cos he said 10 minutes again. I stayed in bed, and could hear him outside. Anyway, he was away for an hour , comes back in (at 10pm) and asks if he can go back to the shop for one more beer and he would be back at half 10. It's 10:25pm now, so we will see.
I just feel really neglected. It is not the first time but when I bring it up, he either gets defensive or angry. At home (UK), he maybe has 2 or 3 a day, and more on a Saturday. Now we are in his homeland, he has having at least 6 a day. I could do with advice on how to talk to him about this. He said that his ex before made him feel caged and warned me that I was doing the same. I don't mind him seeing his friends, but it just seems that he has to drink (often a lot) whenever he is with them. I don't like them personally as they told him to dump me in favour of another girl (he told them flat out no), but I wouldn't stop him from seeing them. How can I bring this up without starting a full blown argument?
