Jenn, getting a job & getting my own place is my motivation too! Im 51 and Ive lived with my mother a few times, that was a horror story in itself lol, so I can probably relate to that too. I just decided I want a life, a normal life. I was sick more than I felt good toward the end of using anyway, so what was the point? I figured I might as well be sick for a couple of weeks rather than be sick for 3 or 4 days a week for the rest of my life. I didnt have a prescription for the meds so of course I had to spend money I didnt have for them and as we know they arent cheap! If I could get 20 a day I would do 20 a day an worry about how I will get more for tomorrow, tomorrow....The chase was exhausting me. Its funny how talking to someone who understands what your going through seems to make it a little better. Right now Im having a little anxiety so I think I better get myself busy doing something. Oh 1 more thing, I deleted every contact from my phone that I could call for what I needed, only thing is the main one is branded in my brain lol, I also see her & talk to her every day, but she dont try to push anything on me nor does she do anything in front of me, not sure I could handle that right now....